CAPE is Curiosity, Acceptance, Playfulness, Empathy

This is in the context of dates, from a psychotherapist:

“Curiosity- active interest in your partner. What they like, what their experience is like, what their past is like. Ask them what their dreams are. Ask them about their childhood. Be genuinely curious about them.

Acceptance- unconditionally accept who they are. Often times we try to change people because we don’t accept their otherness. We are afraid to accept who they are because we are afraid it will invalidate who we are. That it somehow makes us less. We are both equal. Even when we disagree.

Playfulness- Love should be playful and fun. A lot of times when we aren’t playful it’s because we haven’t had our needs met. If you were neglected in some area as a child we often tend to be depressed about it. The more you can play, the healthier your condition. The healthier the relationship.

Empathy- Understanding the other person’s world. What they are experiencing. Putting yourself in their shoes.”

But CAPE, also known as PACE, is not just for relationships or love, it’s how people connect in general. The underlying idea of being curious, accepting people for who they are, having fun, and empathising with them is how you can connect with anyone in any scenario. They use the same thing for kids, particularly in foster care and things to build connection.1

  1. Uni acquaintance, Discord ↩︎